...and YOU'RE a chicken!!!
*****NFL PICKS: WEEK 3*****
Another fun week.
Great prime-time games.
A few upsets (like the feeling of Redskins fans about their team only beating the Rams by two).
Ocho Cinco made a complete fool of Roger Goodell with his “Lambeau Leap”. Not only did he highlight the hypocrisy of forbidding premeditated endzone celebrations while allowing the Green Bay Packers to perform a stunt that has its own name. But he completely took the teeth out of Goodell’s proverbial bite. What was he to do? On the one hand he HAD to fine him for what could be more premeditated than the performance of a pre-named stunt that was announced and publicly reported on a week before the game. But doing so would mean he’d have to outlaw the tradition entirely.
Bravo Ocho, but please don’t stop there. Let’s make every Sunday a spectacle.
I think I scrambled to go 11-6 last week (if you count the Saints OVR). That’s 22-11 on the season.
Let’s hope I do even better this week.
EARLY AFTERNOON GAMES
OILERS @ The Meadowlands -3 (±37)
Both these teams cost me a lot of money last week. Too much faith in the Titans at home and not enough in The Jets playing against New England. Now I’ve got both teams going against each other and I’m left with this dilemma. Do I suck it up and accept that Mark Sanchez and this Jets defense is for real? Or do I refuse to think a team like the Titans will start the season 0-3?
Wish this line wasn’t so low but I’m going with Tennessee.
Jags @ HOUSTON -3.5 (±47)
And here’s the other half of my Houston Bowl screw job. Now that I think about it, this team (along with the Jets) screwed me 2 weeks in a row. There’re at home. Everyone’s healthy and the Jags are still one dimensional.
The New Texans cover.
Browns @ CHARM CITY -13 (±38.5)
The Ravens D is letting me down fantasy-wise but in actual football play they can afford to be less than their best because they finally have an offense that can post 30 on any given. Hard to believe we’ve come to a point where one would seriously consider The Ravens covering 2 TDs as a favorite.
But nothing about the Browns tells me they’ll score more than 6 points. Just terrible.
I’m taking Baltimore.
Braves @ MOTOWN +6.5 (±38.5)
Hey! Remember last year during the automaker bailout crisis when the DC fat-cats made the all the Detroit fat-cats come down to Washington to kiss the ring?
Well this has nothing to do with that.
ACTIVATE MEGATRON!
The New York Football Giants @ Tamp Bay +6.5 (±44) OVR
Boy, did my G-Men come through for me big time down in Dallas! There were 2 players I desperately wanted in the 08 draft: Kenny Phillips and Mario Manningham. Unfortunately the football gods will not let me have both of them healthy for a full season. Phillips is on the IR. But Super Mario has arrived and The Bucs pass D is reminds me of an autumn in London circa 1940 (take your time).
I don’t officially make line picks when it comes to the Giants but you’re safe with the OVER for the 2nd straight week.
Speaking of activating an 08 stud, WHERE ARE YOU MR. RODGERS?! The fate of both of my fantasy teams hinges on the wisdom of passing up Drew Brees in the 2nd and a RB in the 3rd to pick you.
Now there’s no way the St. Louis wins this game. I’d stake my reputation as a prognosticator of week 3 Packer-Rams games. But please, for the sake of Packer fans, my Sportsbook account and both “Gotham’s Finest” teams, let’s make this a laugher.
Green Bay going away. (They’ll also take care of that OVER by themselves)
49ERS @ Twin City West -6.5 (±39)
I might literally be 11-1 ATS with Coach Singletary dating back to when he took over last year. He’s by far my favorit e NFL coach not named Tom Coughlin. They’re probably gonna need Shaun Hill to make some plays on the road vs. the Vikings but I still like them.
Niners cover.
FALCONS @ Foxborough -4.5 (±46.5)
Oh, New England! I think your time is up. A decade of skinflint antics has finally caught up with you. You have no impact players on defense now that Jerod Mayo is out and the 07 Giants have exposed your offense’s Achilles heel: pass protection. Much like Dudley from Diff’rent Strokes, Tom Brady does not enjoy getting molested.
Poor kid. Was never quite the same after Gordon Jump got through with him.
Whether or not the Falcons can accomplish this or not is irrelevant because Matty Ice is coming home (sorta) and he's packing heat.
Take da BOIDS!
The Old Texans @ PHILLY -7.5
This game opened at 9.5 but was quickly taken down, I’m assuming because of the Eagles QB situation. They may or may not get one up by kickoff but 7½ sounds about right to me. Kansas City poled me big time last week letting JaMarcus Russell drive down the field for a TD in the final minute. (That guy stinks, by the way.) DeSean Jackson is nicked up, but I gotta assume a week’s worth of snaps in practice will be enough for Kevin Kolb to lead Philly to victory.
Eagles.
LATE AFTERNOON GAMES
SAINTS @ Rich Stadium +6 (±51.5)
Buffalo weather forecast calls for rain…provided, of course by moisture-saturated clouds or Drew Brees and his traveling circus.
NOLA’s got TDs to spare.
This game gave me more fits than I care to admit. Actually I just admitted it and I didn’t really care.
But I think The Chargers lost another 6 offensive lineman and their defense is underwhelming. Six points for a Dolphin team that can control 45 minutes of a clock is a lot. I still gotta roll with the Light Brigade.
Chargers cover.
Steelers @ CIN CITI +4 (±37)
Ooooh. Bad loss for the Steelers but I saw that coming. The Bengals winning in Green Bay took me completely by surprise. I do like their defense though. They should be 2-0 right now. I can see them keeping it close. Can’t believe I’m gonna say this but…
…put your money on the Bengals.
Broncos @ OAKLAND +1 (±37)
These two teams deserve each other. They both stink yet kinda not. But most amazingly, they are both tied for first place with San Diego. I like the Raiders defense and running game enough to see them pulling it out in the Black Hole.
Take the Autumn wind.
BEARS @ Seattle +2 (±37)
Did you know that “Seneca Wallace” is Chinookan for “Bears cover”?
SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
COLTS @ Arizona -2.5 (±48)
I’ve recently come to realise that Peyton Manning will never lose a game by more than 8 points. And this will only happen if the Colts are down by 16 w/5 min. to play, him driving down to score w/2pt conversion, and the special teams failing to recover the onside kick.
That has nothing to do with this game, by the way. But please feel free to drink whenever you hear the phrase “shoot-out in the desert”.
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
Panthers @ The White Death Star -8.5 (±47.5) 0VR
Last year Ed Reed and Ray Lewis ended the Cowboys home season by leading their rebel alliance down to Irving, Texas and blowing up the 1st Death Star. This year, Eli & Company kicked off the Cowboys home season by doing the same to the new one.
It sure is purty though!I wanted to take the Cowboys to cover but 8½ is a lot of points for a defense that can’t stop anyone through the air or on the ground. I can see this going either way except down.
Take the OVER.
PARLAY OF THE WEEK: Easy 3-teamer. Colts, Bears & the Giants/TB OVR (7.12)
Alright Ladies. That's about it for this week.
Happy Hunting and as always...
...Good Luck and God Bless!
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