Thursday, December 4, 2008

GAMBLE GAMBLE GAMBLE

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving holiday. Plenty of turkeys to go around this year, and I’m not just talking about the Colts, Packers, Cardinals and Seahawks covers (7-7 last week...thanks guys.)
No, for some reason TWO birds were roasted in the Armand home last weekend. Didn’t really know why. Didn’t really care. They were delicious.
But this is a new week and with it comes a fresh opportunity to make back some of that lost dough. So let’s get right to it…

THURSDAY PRIMETIME

RAIDERS @ San Diego -9.5
Speaking of 2 turkeys!
Something about this Charger team just isn’t right. Eli knew it 4 years ago and everyone thought he was crazy. All the talent in the world but no heart. I can’t see them covering this spread.

SUNDAY EARLY GAMES

Tigers @ INDY -13.5
Boy, did the COLTS lay an egg last week. I warned some of you fantasy footballers about owning Peyton Manning this year. To be fair, T.J. Hoosh is screwing me over just as badly. Not a single offensive TD was scored by either of these teams last week. Taking the over (41.5) isn’t a terrible idea, but I’m gonna trust the Indy defense to keep the spread safe.

Jaguars @ CHICAGO -6.5
There’s only one thing I like about cold weather and that’s the opportunity to see Jack Del Rio in that black leather jacket. I’m a big fan of head coaches looking spiffy on the sideline. (I rooted for Mike Nolan to be successful just for that reason!) That said, I feel like this line is too high. It really shouldn’t be more than a FG, but it’s hard to take the Jaguars when Fred Taylor is on record as saying that this is the worst team he’s ever played on. Yikes!

Texans @ GREEN BAY -6
The Packers are on the outside looking in on the playoff picture and for no good reason...besides an inability to play defense, that is.
Isn’t this supposed to be a solid unit? Hawk...Barnett...Harris...Woodson?
Matt Schaub should be back this week which is tempting me to take the over, but something tells me the Packers find a way to keep this thing under 50. Take the Pack.

Browns @ Music City -13.5 OVR 37.5
I’m not gonna sit here and say the Titans aren’t a good team.

Dirty Birds @ NO -3
I’m strongly considering taking the under (51) in this one. There’s no reason to believe that these two QBs can’t do some serious damage on the fast track in Nawlins. But I feel like this line is set to entice us into taking the over. Which means that Vegas knows something we don’t…but I could just be over-thinking this. I’ll just take the home team to cover.

SUNDAY AFTERNOON GAMES

Jets @ SANFRISCO +3.5
Speaking of lines I don’t trust! Why is a team, considered by many to be one of the top 3 in their conference, only giving 3.5 to a 4-8 team? Perhaps Vegas believes in Mike Singletary as much as I do. In any case, I hope he can figure out a way to neutralize all of those offensive weapons. Niners.

DOLPHINS @ Toronto -1
The South Beach Wildcats will play an international game for the second straight year. I predict a very similar result. I like the Bills.
(By the way, does anyone know what stadium they’re playing in? Is it where the Argonauts play? WAIT! Didn’t Ricky Williams play for them while he was suspended from the NFL?)
Forget what I said before. Something tells me the crowd’s gonna be split in this one. I’ll take the Dolphins.

Chiefs @ Broncos -9.5 OVR 49
With these two defenses you have to take the over. Not because the scoring will be so high, which it will, but because you can’t trust either team to cover the spread. A final score of 35-24 is infinitely conceivable, I'm just not sure in which direction.

PATS @ Seattle -4.5
Seattle and San Diego have a lot in common. Both are west coast cities I would enjoy visiting. Both have underachieving teams with inexplicably impotent offenses. Both have coaches that won’t be around next year (their raps are too severe).

RAMS @ Arizona -14
I bet the Cards are happy to be back in their own division. What a tough week. This is a large spread partly because the Cards are coming off half a bye and the Rams are just not scoring. Still, 2 TDs is a lot for a team that doesn’t really play great defense.

Cowboys @ SCHLITZBURG -3
That ol’ Superbowl rivalry renewed. Both these lines are SPOT ON. Three pts to the home team and 39 total points. I don’t know what to think of either of these teams, but I can see the Steeler D holding the Cowboys to less than 3 TDs. I guess it all comes down to whether Big Ben can come up with more than that. I’ll roll the dice.

SUNDAY PRIMETIME

Skins @ CHARM CITY -5
Is that nickname supposed to be ironic? I've been to Baltimore. There's very little that's "charming" about it. Also, before the Ravens came to town, wasn’t everyone there forced to become a Redskins fan? Shouldn’t this game be something akin Yankees/Mets or Raiders/Niners?

MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

BUCS @ Carolina -3
I know I’m picking a lot of road teams but what do you want? I call ‘em like I see ‘em. As for the Panthers, all their costumes and super-powers ain’t shit! It’s time for their reign of lick and truckery...uh...trick and luckery...err...luck and trickery...to...um...come to...an end...yeah.

SACROSANCT

Iggies @ The Meadowlands, Home of The NY Football Giants -7
Ohhh! Look who’s finally coming around? Undefeated at home and 11-1 overall and we finally get a TD spread.
I’ll say this much…if Tom Coughlin finds a way to outcoach “Big Pun” Andy Reid again, I wanna hear less about running Donovan F. McNabb out of Philly and more about getting rid of their pork-chop of a coach!

Alright. Should be another great week of football. Good luck and good cheer!

PARLAY OF THE WEEK:
Colts, Packers, Pats, Ravens & Bucs (8.5:1)

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